Super Hero II

After some complaints about picture quality in the post about Captain Dreadlocks, i decided to add a couple of pix to clear up any questions.

This is a picture of the Captain freshly returned from her last grooming experience.  Note the highly visible facial features.  One can gaze into her eyes.........

And here is the same dog after partaking of the Magic Cloven Beef Hoof which transforms the mild mannered and soulful 'Roid into the indomitable Captain Dreadlocks, devoid of eye contact and unrecognizable beneath the flowing hair..........

Super hero

It isn't enough for Emma 'Roid to be Captain of the Canine Pirate Star Ship Nargle.  Oh,no!!!  This entreprenurial cock-a-poo has evolved a new identity for herself.

Formerly a sweet unassuming cuddly dog in need of a groomer's touch,

Emma has found the magic Cloven Beef Hoof

which transforms her into that powerful superhero even more feared by Klingon Kats than the Captain of the Nargle,

CAPTAIN DREADLOCKS

Of Mice and Sisters

So last Monday a field mouse invaded Dee and Melina's abode in Sacramento.  Dee went to soccer after screeching, panicking, calling the exterminator, and tasking the whippets and cats to deal with the furry grey invader...........yeah, right.  Cousin Mysty-fied was her usual self:

Thanks for all the help, Mysty!!!!  I don't recall ever seeing that dog in other than a prone position....The Lummox wasn't even around!!!!!!!!  Probably hiding in the bed.......Sight hounds indeed.  All they did was look at the scampering rodent---at least that's a good use of their singular talent........

So Sister Melina caught the beastie, outperforming two Whippets, a Sassy cat, traps, and exterminators.  She even got bit in the performance of her heroic duty!!!!!!!  (I won't comment on the "hello kitty" band-aid, I mean, really)........So Sister Melina, you are hereby awarded the Order of Anton Chico and inducted into the crew of the fearless Pirate Dogs.  Print out this ferocious picture and hang it on your 'fridge:  

And remember, the next time there is an emergency, call on a Chihuahua for results and let the Whippets take their nap.  Remember, a little "Weetz-itude" goes a long way!!!!!!!!

Nothing's Easy

After all the flap about the peace prize, we really need to get serious about blaming the current administration for things. Onion has a piece about Obama negotiating with a forest fire--guess he CAN do anything!!! Today the news broke that American kids are even worse at math than last year after we elected what we thought was a REAL education supportive president. There's tsunamis in the Pacific and Dylan was right about SoCal---"a hard rain's gonna fall" and all those multi-million dollar homes the elite built on those recently denuded-by-fire hills may come tumbling down like Jericho's walls. Barack, blow that trumpet!!!!!!!!

But the ultimate insult, worse than H1N1 swine flu, is H3N8!!!! Obviously this plague has been visited upon us by Yahweh as punishment for our electing Obama. What, you didn't hear about this?? The ultimate apocalyptic event, worse than a Vince Vaughn movie or a Mayan prophecy?

H3N8 is a virus that infects horses. Apparently it can be transmitted to dogs, causing pneumonia in man's last and only best friend. Vets are recommending vaccinations for the K-9 population to protect them. Holy spiraling health care costs, and right on top of the swine flu vaccine issues!!!!! Barack, Barack, why hast thou forsaken us???? After nine months in office, all there is for you is blame---- blame for the wars you didn't start and the deficit you didn't create. Bet you even support Limbaugh's buying the St Louis Rams!!!! Don't worry, someone is sure to paint you with that brush,too......

Making of a Birthday Card 2009

Our daughter's birthday is in September. This year, the Pirate Dogs decided to send their sister a card. O M G!!!!! The task would try the patience of the saints.

First, you assemble the crew:

Come here, 'Roid!!!

Then get them in position:

Please stay, guys!?!?!

Can't do a card without a message, right? Try that with a chewy chihuahua...

Bertequila, please.....

Now, Bertie, leave it alone.

Now, a few takes----------

Bertie's leaving and what's with Leny's expression??

Nice sitting but could you look any weirder???

Looks like Bertequila's leaving again

Gee, guys, would you sort of look like you're having fun??

Finally, they get down to business............

Happy Birthday to our sister Dee!!!!

Course they only do it for the rewards.......NOT!!!!!!

Good job, guys!!!

Chihuahuas love to get on their hind legs--makes 'em feel tall like big dogs..

And all that was done so we could be late with this:

The Pirate Dogs love you and we're sorry this was so late!!!!!!!

LOL

(Notice the absence of any felines---the Klingon Kats know to make themselves scarce when this crew is being made to perform....)

A "Sharper" P.o.V.

Things have been frantically slow this summer. It seemed that for a while several times a day we Pirate Dogs were bundled into the car and shuttled off to Bucksnort and the cousins because some stranger wanted to see our house. (Very unusual odors awaited and excited us whenever we returned home.) It was so frequent that our beloved CSS Nargle was moved over there!! That made it very difficult to improve our phaser marksmanship on the Klingon Kats....

But there have been no offers on the house despite the showing activity. Our mom is frustrated and gets exceedingly grumpy with each episode of frantic picking-up and hauling us off to Auntie's. I was listening to our parents talking the other night about some guy who's supposed to be a fighter pilot that loves the house and wants us moved in three weeks---but the bozo hasn't made an offer and needs his daddy to see it first!!!! If he'd made an offer when he first saw it, we'd be moving out by now. Of course Mom got all excited and now there's boxes in the dining room full of stuff we don't use much---- They said he looked again Friday with his daddy and now the Realtors won't call and tell us what's up!!! Seem the real estate market here only operates Monday thru Friday. What a way to do business......

Then there's the midshipman----Seems Bertequila has sensitive underarms. He got some rash on his left arm and kept licking and niggling to make it worse. When Mom tried to assuage his suffering with aloe the dweeb licked it off. So Mom raided the stuffed animal collection and (would you believe???) found a sweater on a stuffed penguin that fit the midshipman!!!! With his garment on, Bert can't lick the area and the meds stay on the sore spot. So now Bert's arm is healing. That sweater is getting a little tacky though. Hope Mom knits him a new one soon. That chihuahua isn't olfactorially pleasant at the best of times........

But I got my dad all weekend so life's good and the bone turks are flowing.

Leny the Sharprador

First Mate of the CSS Nargle

AAAAAHHH!!!!

Today is one of the best days in Clovis. Even though we were marooned at Bucksnort's with our cousins Seymour and Esmerelda, the olfactory pleasures we experienced when our parents picked us up were so wonderful. That delectable smell when we bundled into the car--like something roasted but not burned; something spicy and maybe wonderfully hot....And when we entered the house, it was all but overpowering, in a deliciously sensual way-----They had been to the Farmer's Market and gotten our supply of green chiles!!!!!!!!! If you've never smelt the delightful aroma of fresh roasted green chiles, we can only pity you. You haven't even made it up to a dog's life.......

The Pirate Dogs---'Roid, Leny, Weetz, and Bertequila

Channel 2

It's funny how the Pirate Dogs channel people and events. A previous entry on this blog detailed how Weetzie channels my late mother-in-law. Now we are at July 7 2009. It's Ringo's 69th birthday. All day coverage of Michael Jackson's memorial. The day after the death of Robert S. McNamara, Secretary of Defense during the VietNam war under JFK and LBJ. Farrah's demise has sort of been lost in the shuffle.

But the Pirate Dogs are reacting.

Ringo always had a sort of hang-dog look about him:

But that's nothing compared to Leny in a pensive mood:

Then there's Emma. This is the Captain but you'd never find a dog with a sweeter disposition. She can just be nice, like I've heard Farrah was. And she even had big hair from the groomer:

Now Weetzie already channels my mother-in-law, and she is certainly strange---as in Robert Strange McNamara---leave it to Weets to do the double play:

But the prize for channeling goes to Bertequila----this dog doesn't have a good bone in his body--HE IS BAD, like MJ's album

of the same name:

And I apologize for none of this. It's unfortunate some of these people have gone on to their reward. R.I.P.

And as for Ringo, Happy 69th!!!!!!!!!!!

Abuse

We Pirate Dogs were absolutely abused on Saturday. We were dispatched into the Nargle at 7:30AM and not released until 6:30PM. Good thing we were able to use the trans-warp drive and test the new phasers at any Klingon Kat that wandered into our sights. We had water and there were no "accidents".

When we were released, the alleged humans were all on about something called Pecos. Seems our dad really likes it there and they were all atwitter about some set-up with 2 houses with mountain views. I guess they would like to move there with Auntie Bucksnort and our cousins, Esmerelda and Seymour.

Here's a picture from the land the houses are on:

We're sure there'll be more said about this from our parents.

From the log of the CSS Nargle, Sirius date 61409, Midshipman Bertiquila recording.

(Note---Sirius is the "dog star." How else would we measure our dates???? Capt. 'Roid)

Leny's Complaint

All right---I've had it.  Just when life was getting peaceful, the Nargle fitted with the ultra-warp drive, the Captain getting all of us together and planning the final subjugation of the Klingon Kats to our obviously superior canine minds------Auntie Bucksnort gets into dogs.

Now she's already got Esmerelda who drives us crazy because she just doesn't "get " dogginess, being the only dog-child raised by a cat lover with 2 cats.  Next, Buck went and rescued a male dog, sorta shepherd mix, Seymour.  She calls him Spike, but hell she calls Esmerelda, Lee.  She really needs some work on dog naming.

Anyway, since Auntie is now into doggie welfare, and knowing how my dad wanted a chihuahua, she haunted the pound and found one!!!  She actually parked there overnite on a Sunday so she'd be first in line and get this little male humpty machine.

  Damn thing ain't  got his cajones dropped and he's constantly trying to hump me!!!!  I can't get a lick on a new chip stick or chip turk without the little a-hole getting on my back!!!!  And poor Monquita Socorro.  

I was taking real good care of her but since the chihuahua entered the fray she's got no tail, only one foot, most of her stuffing gone!!!!  And poor Weets isn't so small and cute anymore because Bertie is such a dwarf.  Who the hell ever dreamed up this breed anyhow.  Damn thing thinks it can keep up with me does it??

If you look close, you'll see I've got the little sucker lifted off the ground!!!!  But I guess Weets is somewhat reconciled to the new beast.

And by the way,  while I've got the blog stage, I do NOT have any pit bull in me.  I am a SHARPRADOR and damn proud of it too---that's part Labrador Retriever and part Shar-Pei.  The big head is from the Lab, the jowls from the Sharpie side.  Gotta put all that extra skin somewhere!!!!  Besides I got that Sharpie blue-colored tongue.  So get with it---Sharpradors are kind, loyal, and loving---except when there's pain-in-the-rump Weimaraners next door who need a good barking at, then I can be meaner than hell!!!!  But mostly, I'm just Leny and now I'm done being Portnoy.  And if you don't get that reference, you need my nickname of "lame."  

LOL

New Pirate Dog; Old Argument

Let's do the old argument first----There was a piece on BBC World News America this evening in which a gentleman from Oklahoma said the government was going to spend us to death and should just give the money directly to the people.  We've heard this since Paulson and W. started the TARP last year.  So, let's do the math---Let's say the government allocated $1-trillion to just be handed out to each person in the US.  That should really help us all out, right????  Well, $1-trillion divided by the population of the US, which according to the US Census Bureau population clock at about 6:00PM MDT on 5/14 stood at 306,429,317, is $3263.40 per person.  That'll go a long way to ending the downturn, won't it???  And I'm sure it would more than replace the income of those who lose their jobs as companies and local governments go bankrupt or default on payments.   

Now for the news-----We have adopted a new Pirate Dog.  Bertie, aka Roberto Fernando el toro perro, is a rescue from the local oxymoronic kill shelter.  I had wanted a chihuahua since moving here and this is as close as we have gotten, without paying a breeder.  El toro may have a little rat terrier mixed with the chihuahua but he's sooooo tiny he makes Weets look big.

In this picture he's lying in the hall next to a chip stick that's about as long as he is!!

He makes the percentage of male household members 30%.  The Captain has been slow to accept him, and Weets still hasn't. 

But the Captain is pretty mellow all the same as long as this newest crew member follows orders.

 The newcomer has bonded with First Mate Leny.  They even share chip turks and chip stix.  He's still a little too small to spend a lot of time in the Nargle however.

It's only been since Monday that Bertie joined us and he's already hassling Klingon Kats and learning the routines of life as a Pirate Dog!!!

Captain's Chronicles

Far more engaging than Sarah Conner is Emma the 'Roid and I'm sure the canine chronicles will be at least as amusing.

Emma 'Roid came into the house having been purchased from a NH lady who thought she was a breeder.  

The first time a vet looked at her, his comment was that she certainly had those "cock-a-poo knees."  Seems that one of the problems with the breed is a tendency for the rear legs to be weak and the knees all akimbo.  This certainly explains why 'Roid has to get a two-room running start to get up on one of the beds!!

She has dealt with that humiliation as well as the mental agony caused by an insensitive groomer who tried to take a pirate captain and make it too cute:

Yet through all the trials and tribulations, Emma perseveres.  Her accomplishments include supporting piracy around the globe with that fierce crew of Pirate Dogs whom she commands.  Note the looks of absolute intensity she projects from the bridge.

This is a dog who has guided her crew through the transformation from denizens of the canine seas to explorers of the galaxies, directing the transformation of the CPS Nargle into the CSS Nargle.  From her perch on the captain's chair she can survey the unfolding of space before her ship.

Truly, an inspiring figure in the canine pantheon and, despite all her accomplishments, still capable of begging for bone turks and looking as adorable as she can.........

All you Portuguese Water Dogs, eat your hearts out!!!!!!!!!!!!  All you Klingon Kats, be afraid!!!!!

The Newbie and the Problem

My wife can't help herself.  If she goes near the oxymoronic city animal kill shelter, she adds to our home's pet population.  Last week there was a lynx-point Siamese cat there.  Well, now we have more cats than dogs with the addition of GracieGrizelda.

Griz was spayed this week and hasn't emerged from under the bed since her homecoming.  Prior to the procedure, she seemed to be outgoing and friendly but now her personality is a question mark.  Will she become isolated and a virulent Klingon or revert to the nice disposition she previously exhibited?  

Of course, a rescue animal is the preferred way to add to our pet population.  But the crew of the Nargle are a little upset that the latest addition is a Klingon Kat!!!!  Stay tuned for the continuing episodes of the Space Pirate Dogs and the Klingon Kats in their quest for meaning as they travel in the space time continuum........

And then there's the concerns about Leny.  Ever since her bout with seizures, she has been a bit more mellow.  A regimen of Valium and phenobarbital over the last few weeks have had an observable effect on the poor beast-----

Yes, Leny has a monkey on her back!!!!!!!!!!!  Hopefully she will return to her ebullient self after the effects of the prescriptions run their course.  Then let the feline contingent beware---no more scenes like this:

Just What I Need!!!!

Followers of this blog know the story of Leny .  Well, today she really did it.  Auntie Bucksnort was pirate-dog-sitting and Leny decided to have not one but four seizures!!!!  The whole bit, stiff legs, drooling, even cut her face near the right eye!!!  So Buck calls me, I rush out of work, and meet them at the vet.  There are things that are important in life, like making a living, raising kids, and then there's the ULTIMATE PANIC---a sick dog!!!!  Let's be real here---pets replace children after the children hit a certain age and are moved out.

So now there's this dog hanging around after an afternoon in the vet's observation crate.  And what do you think the vet gave us for meds (to keep the animal CALM)???  How about Leny will be taking 20mg of Valium twice a day and 1.5 grams of phenobarbital every day!!!!  Like I said---just what I need---a laid back dog that just goes "wow" all evening......totally forgetting the "bow" part of barking!

Of course Capt. 'Roid is pretty sure this was all caused by a continuing imbalance between the phaser generator and the anti-matter nodes on the newly installed matter/anti-matter reactor engines still being fitted to the Nargle as it is transformed from an ordinary canine pirate ship to a space pirate dog starship..........

Symbols & Transformation

Strange doings------the Captain has been spending a lot of time in the Nargle.  

I know the Pirate Dogs are upset with the war in the horn of Africa with the Somali pirates.  They've documented their feelings in previous posts.  But now, something else is going on, strange scuffling and sounds like construction.  The Captain looks older and wiser.  The ears on the look-out are now a more dominant feature than the eyes, and Weets has become more logical.  The first-mate has developed an aptitude for mechanics and physics and I can detect the beginnings of a wee brogue in her bark---------

The sails on the ship are getting smaller----and those protuberances on the aft structures---for all the universe they look like matter/anti-matter engine nacelle housings.............And the new markings  NCC1701-B------------this video that they are enthralled by......

.

SPACE PIRATE DOGS and the United Canine Starship Nargle-----to quote Steve Miller, "bet you weren't ready for that."  

Pirate Tea

So April 15 is when all the tea parties to protest the massive tax increases happen.  Now, I get paid a couple of times a month, the 15th and last day to be precise.  So I just got my first pay stub post-Obama's plan (went into effect April 1).  My net was an increase of about $26.00, not a king's ransom or TARP money, but certainly not a tax increase---that deducts from the net, right???  So what exactly are these people protesting against??  The tax rates imposed by the LAST administration---as in Republican George W. Bush------and I'm not even going to get onto "teabagging"------------------but whatever floats your boat I guess.

Speaking of boats,  the Pirate Dogs salute the US Navy Seals.  Good shots.  But they are laughing up their sleeves at the rest of this issue.  Those Somali pirates have seized at least four vessels since the weekend and have now delayed Captain Phillips'  homecoming by attacking another US flagged vessel and forcing the destroyer Bainbridge, with Phillips on board, into diverting to protect this other ship.  Just imagine, those were kids that held him---teenagers.  The UN really needs to do something to give options to these Somali kids.  It's worse than an inner city in the US!!

A quick poll question---- given that Bo (left) looks like Capt 'Roid (right),

should Bo Obama be made an honorary Pirate Dog???????  Needs to lose the lei though.

Finally, did any of you see the pictures of John Demjanjuk?  He's the 89 year-old accused of being a Nazi concentration camp guard who allegedly killed some 29,000 people.  I'm not a holocaust denier and maybe this guy is guilty.  But is it right to deport him after all these years he worked here in America?  And there are rabbis talking about justice being done, etc,etc.  Well, to my simple mind, war crimes are war crimes---if John D deserves trial, what about the Israeli leaders who rained rockets and chemicals on the people of Gaza?  What about the Bushies who attempted to justify and did condone acts which on the surface seem to violate the Geneva convention?  All these people should be presumed innocent but all should have their day in court if any one of them has to............Can anyone say "justice?"

Conflicted

So los perros piratos are having trouble tonight---feeling very conflicted.  While they root for the poor and disenfranchised Somalians who have turned to piracy to survive, the incident of the Maersk Alabama, an American flagged and crewed freighter, has caused pain and uncertainty.  If the people of Somalia can only survive by plundering the high seas off the Horn of Africa,  the Pirate Dogs believe they deserve support.  But attacking American vessels makes the canines feel unpatriotic if they root for the pirates.  

In inimitable dog fashion, however, los perros have a solution.  The rich world needs to subsidize Somalia with aid and investment to allow the people of that failed state to rebuild their country and have options for survival and advancement that would make piracy moot.

Next, perhaps these fine specimens of canine intellectualism will turn their attention to Sudan and Darfur.............

How the Captain got her Name

First there was Red Rachel, later sister to Blue Leafy.  Leafy had to be put down because of the BIG C.  Rachel then despaired of her world and took a nosedive into one of those big Highway Dept. dump trucks.  Devastated, we searched for another dog.

We went to a shelter a couple of towns to the West.  There was a beagle-sized being there who sort of looked like, maybe, wishfully, hopefully, a Golden Retriever puppy.  But we wanted to check out another shelter by the Seacoast.  So off we went.  That first dog played on our minds and there wasn't anything we liked at the other shelter so we hastened west across NH to the original shelter, pulling up about 7 minutes before closing and announced we'd take the beagle cross.  Of course the volunteers there were just thrilled to have to do an hour or so of paperwork.....But we took her home.

Turned out the dog had been returned from a failed adoption the previous day.  And she didn't have any Golden in her--- just about everything else!!!  She was part Beagle, German Shepherd, Collie, and Lab.  She had a tannish-reddish coat and wasn't very big.  As a matter of fact, she remained on the small side her entire life---beagle-sized.

She proved to be an outstanding animal and we named her Hannah.  She was loyal and great with family members.  But she hated strangers.  One of our son's friends never could get into the house without a frenzy of growling, barking, and gnashing of teeth from Hannah.  Unless he got down on his knees so he'd be HER size---then there would be peace.

We had some very good friends and we'd alternate dinner and a movie/video at each other's houses on a semi-regular basis.  The hosts provided the movie and dinner;  the guests, dessert and wine.  Well T's specialty was carrot cake---absolutely scrumptious.  But something about it stimulated Hannah.  The dog would just stand in the kitchen pointing at the carrot cake on the counter.  God Himself couldn't help any cat or other creature who strayed by and got between Hannah and that cake dish.....

So what's all this got to do with the Captain? Well might you ask-----It was Hannah who gave the Captain her moniker. My wife liked Hannah but the dog was a little too aggressive and growly for her taste.  She longed for a dog with the mild temperament of Pete, the Cocker she grew up with.  So one summer's day after school was out and I was at work, she drove to a town north of us after responding to an ad in the newspaper.  There she met a woman who bred Cock-a-poos.  She found a curly-haired black bundle and wrote a check for the dog.  She brought it home and christened it Emma.  Now it being around the time that Dodge had decided to re-introduce America to the Hemi engine, everyone was talking about "Yeah, it's got a Hemi."  So it wasn't much of a stretch to nickname Emma "Hemi".  

Now Hannah, the  famously infamous "tan dog", took some exception to this simpering puppy following her around and generally being, in Hannah's opinion, obnoxious.  So, by simply adding a couple of syllables to  her nickname of "Hemi" that described an ailment of the posterior, Hannah changed it all and Emma became "The 'Roid".  Soon after this renaming, Hannah succumbed to the BIG C and Emma was able to assert herself a little.  But it took the adoption of Leny, the move to NM, and the acquisition of the final Pirate Dog, Weets, to enable her to become the Captain.

And the rest is blog-istory..............