Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Leny's Complaint


All right---I've had it.  Just when life was getting peaceful, the Nargle fitted with the ultra-warp drive, the Captain getting all of us together and planning the final subjugation of the Klingon Kats to our obviously superior canine minds------Auntie Bucksnort gets into dogs.
Now she's already got Esmerelda who drives us crazy because she just doesn't "get " dogginess, being the only dog-child raised by a cat lover with 2 cats.  Next, Buck went and rescued a male dog, sorta shepherd mix, Seymour.  She calls him Spike, but hell she calls Esmerelda, Lee.  She really needs some work on dog naming.
Anyway, since Auntie is now into doggie welfare, and knowing how my dad wanted a chihuahua, she haunted the pound and found one!!!  She actually parked there overnite on a Sunday so she'd be first in line and get this little male humpty machine.

  Damn thing ain't  got his cajones dropped and he's constantly trying to hump me!!!!  I can't get a lick on a new chip stick or chip turk without the little a-hole getting on my back!!!!  And poor Monquita Socorro.  
I was taking real good care of her but since the chihuahua entered the fray she's got no tail, only one foot, most of her stuffing gone!!!!  And poor Weets isn't so small and cute anymore because Bertie is such a dwarf.  Who the hell ever dreamed up this breed anyhow.  Damn thing thinks it can keep up with me does it??

If you look close, you'll see I've got the little sucker lifted off the ground!!!!  But I guess Weets is somewhat reconciled to the new beast.


And by the way,  while I've got the blog stage, I do NOT have any pit bull in me.  I am a SHARPRADOR and damn proud of it too---that's part Labrador Retriever and part Shar-Pei.  The big head is from the Lab, the jowls from the Sharpie side.  Gotta put all that extra skin somewhere!!!!  Besides I got that Sharpie blue-colored tongue.  So get with it---Sharpradors are kind, loyal, and loving---except when there's pain-in-the-rump Weimaraners next door who need a good barking at, then I can be meaner than hell!!!!  But mostly, I'm just Leny and now I'm done being Portnoy.  And if you don't get that reference, you need my nickname of "lame."  
LOL


3 comments:

clairz said...

Well, Leny, you outdid yourself on this one. I laughed myself sick reading it. I loved the photo with the Dumpty dog flying through the air. Exceptional capture!

Jean (aka Auntie Bucksnort) said...

Hey! Foul! Foul! J'accuse! J'accuse! I caught this incurable virus - rescuenza caninus - from you guys!!!!

Besides, once Spike showed up in our lives, it just snowballed... or hairballed to be more precise. He needed some male companionship with all those females - Leny, Hemmy, Wheets & Lili - swarming around him all the time wanting to do his nails and hair and stuff. He begged me to rescue Big Papi.

Yesterday, he and Big Papi (aka. the tiny little chihuahua/chupacabra mutt) bonded like long lost bro's. They wrestled, they hung out, they drank water together, they snoozed together, they engaged in some x-treme sportz out in the backyard... Spike even let El Diablito do the humpacabra all over him!!

And yesterday Leny told anyone who would listen "It's all good, dudes...".

BZ said...

All I can say is that sometimes Leny just has to let it out!!!!