Making of a Birthday Card 2009

Our daughter's birthday is in September. This year, the Pirate Dogs decided to send their sister a card. O M G!!!!! The task would try the patience of the saints.

First, you assemble the crew:

Come here, 'Roid!!!

Then get them in position:

Please stay, guys!?!?!

Can't do a card without a message, right? Try that with a chewy chihuahua...

Bertequila, please.....

Now, Bertie, leave it alone.

Now, a few takes----------

Bertie's leaving and what's with Leny's expression??

Nice sitting but could you look any weirder???

Looks like Bertequila's leaving again

Gee, guys, would you sort of look like you're having fun??

Finally, they get down to business............

Happy Birthday to our sister Dee!!!!

Course they only do it for the rewards.......NOT!!!!!!

Good job, guys!!!

Chihuahuas love to get on their hind legs--makes 'em feel tall like big dogs..

And all that was done so we could be late with this:

The Pirate Dogs love you and we're sorry this was so late!!!!!!!

LOL

(Notice the absence of any felines---the Klingon Kats know to make themselves scarce when this crew is being made to perform....)

A "Sharper" P.o.V.

Things have been frantically slow this summer. It seemed that for a while several times a day we Pirate Dogs were bundled into the car and shuttled off to Bucksnort and the cousins because some stranger wanted to see our house. (Very unusual odors awaited and excited us whenever we returned home.) It was so frequent that our beloved CSS Nargle was moved over there!! That made it very difficult to improve our phaser marksmanship on the Klingon Kats....

But there have been no offers on the house despite the showing activity. Our mom is frustrated and gets exceedingly grumpy with each episode of frantic picking-up and hauling us off to Auntie's. I was listening to our parents talking the other night about some guy who's supposed to be a fighter pilot that loves the house and wants us moved in three weeks---but the bozo hasn't made an offer and needs his daddy to see it first!!!! If he'd made an offer when he first saw it, we'd be moving out by now. Of course Mom got all excited and now there's boxes in the dining room full of stuff we don't use much---- They said he looked again Friday with his daddy and now the Realtors won't call and tell us what's up!!! Seem the real estate market here only operates Monday thru Friday. What a way to do business......

Then there's the midshipman----Seems Bertequila has sensitive underarms. He got some rash on his left arm and kept licking and niggling to make it worse. When Mom tried to assuage his suffering with aloe the dweeb licked it off. So Mom raided the stuffed animal collection and (would you believe???) found a sweater on a stuffed penguin that fit the midshipman!!!! With his garment on, Bert can't lick the area and the meds stay on the sore spot. So now Bert's arm is healing. That sweater is getting a little tacky though. Hope Mom knits him a new one soon. That chihuahua isn't olfactorially pleasant at the best of times........

But I got my dad all weekend so life's good and the bone turks are flowing.

Leny the Sharprador

First Mate of the CSS Nargle

Candidate for 2012??

Auntie Bucksnort's comment is responsible for this post. In a previous entry on this blog, she commented about Bertie possibly being a Republican candidate in 2012. I pretty much dismissed this idea in favor of a run by the Captain, given her much greater experience and demonstrated leadership skills. Bertie is after all a midshipman. But after celebrating the 4th of July with several Coronas, barbecued ribs, ears of corn-on-the-cob, and glasses of wine, I rethought my position.

Bertie certainly has more charisma than Romney or Palin:

The small dog has the tenacity and fighting mien of Giuliani or Cheney:

Bertie also gets on well with the ladies, like Ensign or Sanford:

Finally, and this might be the most compelling of his qualifications, if you invert the first letter of his rank, Midshipman, you get

W

And that's that...............

Fictions

So the governor of SC, Mark Sanford, a front runner for the dubious distinction of carrying the Republican banner in the 2012 presidential election, allowed the fiction to be disseminated that he was hiking on the Appalachian trail to clear his head after some bitter fights over budgets and money with the SC legislature. This is a fiction. He admitted today he was involved in an affair.

Now, this man is alleged to be a paragon of conservative virtues like the sanctity of the family, the sanctity of "one man one woman" marriage, and all the other virtues that secular liberal intellectuals lack. So how badly have the mouthpieces of the G O P castigated this sinner over his fall from the Sinai of their proclivities? Well, Ayatollah Rush Limbaugh has taken comfort in the fact that Republicans are capable of sex and lust. So much for the Commandments about not committing adultery and not coveting another man's wife. Does this mean that henceforth the religious wing of the G O P will only be touting 8 commandments for public display, not the original 10 given us by GOD?? As for the next-in-line prophet, Hannity, his website has a non-clickable line about the incident. And these two purport to be the consciences of the nation??

A final fiction---Suppose Argentina was just to throw us off the scent and Gov. S. really went to another state that starts with "A" and his real paramour is the governor there. This torrid affair began about a year ago (he said this), maybe at a Republican governors conference?? And an affair with the fair governor of that northernmost clime might eliminate a front-running and highly respected rival for the 2012 nomination....

Honestly, between multiple nuptial Newt, Ensign lover, now Sanford the fallen, shouldn't the question be whether any of the "serious" Republican possible presidential candidates for 2012 have more sense than Midshipman Bertie, the humpy little chihuahua? Bert has an excuse---he's a 4-month old male puppy. What excuse can Rush and Sean offer for the uncontrollable urges of men aspiring to leadership who act like 4-month old male puppies???

Abuse

We Pirate Dogs were absolutely abused on Saturday. We were dispatched into the Nargle at 7:30AM and not released until 6:30PM. Good thing we were able to use the trans-warp drive and test the new phasers at any Klingon Kat that wandered into our sights. We had water and there were no "accidents".

When we were released, the alleged humans were all on about something called Pecos. Seems our dad really likes it there and they were all atwitter about some set-up with 2 houses with mountain views. I guess they would like to move there with Auntie Bucksnort and our cousins, Esmerelda and Seymour.

Here's a picture from the land the houses are on:

We're sure there'll be more said about this from our parents.

From the log of the CSS Nargle, Sirius date 61409, Midshipman Bertiquila recording.

(Note---Sirius is the "dog star." How else would we measure our dates???? Capt. 'Roid)

Evolution

One thing about the Pirate Dogs is that they constantly grow and evolve. This week the newest, Bertie, went to the vet. The good doctor figures he's about 3-1/2 months old and has some rat terrier mixed in with the chihuahua. Well didn't that just spark a firestorm.

Now the easy solution would be to name him "Ratso", but that's Auntie Bucksnort's grandson's nickname. What to do, what to do.................The solution is, shall we say, quoting Mr. Spock in "The Wrath of Khan", unique...........

Bertie as Dustin because he's "Ratso":




















Leny as Jon playing "Joe Buck":





















Now, this casting is due to the size of the dogs relative to the characters. Bertie would be more suited by temperament to the Joe Buck role---being a male puppy he's ready to hump anything that crosses his path!!!!

But it's the Brenda Vaccaro role of Shirley that causes the controversy. Weets really wants this part but possibly Emma has the look??? What do you think?

And for those of you who haven't figured out where this is all going, would you believe.....

Midnight CowDogs

???????????????????????????????????????????????????

New Pirate Dog; Old Argument

Let's do the old argument first----There was a piece on BBC World News America this evening in which a gentleman from Oklahoma said the government was going to spend us to death and should just give the money directly to the people.  We've heard this since Paulson and W. started the TARP last year.  So, let's do the math---Let's say the government allocated $1-trillion to just be handed out to each person in the US.  That should really help us all out, right????  Well, $1-trillion divided by the population of the US, which according to the US Census Bureau population clock at about 6:00PM MDT on 5/14 stood at 306,429,317, is $3263.40 per person.  That'll go a long way to ending the downturn, won't it???  And I'm sure it would more than replace the income of those who lose their jobs as companies and local governments go bankrupt or default on payments.   

Now for the news-----We have adopted a new Pirate Dog.  Bertie, aka Roberto Fernando el toro perro, is a rescue from the local oxymoronic kill shelter.  I had wanted a chihuahua since moving here and this is as close as we have gotten, without paying a breeder.  El toro may have a little rat terrier mixed with the chihuahua but he's sooooo tiny he makes Weets look big.

In this picture he's lying in the hall next to a chip stick that's about as long as he is!!

He makes the percentage of male household members 30%.  The Captain has been slow to accept him, and Weets still hasn't. 

But the Captain is pretty mellow all the same as long as this newest crew member follows orders.

 The newcomer has bonded with First Mate Leny.  They even share chip turks and chip stix.  He's still a little too small to spend a lot of time in the Nargle however.

It's only been since Monday that Bertie joined us and he's already hassling Klingon Kats and learning the routines of life as a Pirate Dog!!!