Leny's Complaint

All right---I've had it.  Just when life was getting peaceful, the Nargle fitted with the ultra-warp drive, the Captain getting all of us together and planning the final subjugation of the Klingon Kats to our obviously superior canine minds------Auntie Bucksnort gets into dogs.

Now she's already got Esmerelda who drives us crazy because she just doesn't "get " dogginess, being the only dog-child raised by a cat lover with 2 cats.  Next, Buck went and rescued a male dog, sorta shepherd mix, Seymour.  She calls him Spike, but hell she calls Esmerelda, Lee.  She really needs some work on dog naming.

Anyway, since Auntie is now into doggie welfare, and knowing how my dad wanted a chihuahua, she haunted the pound and found one!!!  She actually parked there overnite on a Sunday so she'd be first in line and get this little male humpty machine.

  Damn thing ain't  got his cajones dropped and he's constantly trying to hump me!!!!  I can't get a lick on a new chip stick or chip turk without the little a-hole getting on my back!!!!  And poor Monquita Socorro.  

I was taking real good care of her but since the chihuahua entered the fray she's got no tail, only one foot, most of her stuffing gone!!!!  And poor Weets isn't so small and cute anymore because Bertie is such a dwarf.  Who the hell ever dreamed up this breed anyhow.  Damn thing thinks it can keep up with me does it??

If you look close, you'll see I've got the little sucker lifted off the ground!!!!  But I guess Weets is somewhat reconciled to the new beast.

And by the way,  while I've got the blog stage, I do NOT have any pit bull in me.  I am a SHARPRADOR and damn proud of it too---that's part Labrador Retriever and part Shar-Pei.  The big head is from the Lab, the jowls from the Sharpie side.  Gotta put all that extra skin somewhere!!!!  Besides I got that Sharpie blue-colored tongue.  So get with it---Sharpradors are kind, loyal, and loving---except when there's pain-in-the-rump Weimaraners next door who need a good barking at, then I can be meaner than hell!!!!  But mostly, I'm just Leny and now I'm done being Portnoy.  And if you don't get that reference, you need my nickname of "lame."  

LOL

Pets of Pets

Soquita Monkita has no face:

To make a short story long........

Soquita is Leny's pet.  Readers might hearken back to last Thanksgiving's trip to CA.  We visited our daughter's family---the two whippets, Mystified and the Lummox.   This is the Mystyfied dog:

The Lummox had a sock monkey.  Leny, being the dominatrix she naturally is, appropriated said toy.  It was an obsession.  Leny took the thing everywhere, even to bed when it was time to retire.  The Lummox could only hope we left soon and he got his monkey back.

Being doting parents, we thought it would be a good idea to get each of the Pirate Dogs their own sock monkey.  We found a website and procured three of the little cuties:

Of course, being independent Pirate Dogs, Captain 'Roid and Crow's-Nest Weetzie wanted absolutely nothing to do with these stuffed atrocities!!  The First-Mate remembered the joy of the monkey from CA and took to hers immediately, christening it Soquita Monkita.  Leny loves Soquita:

Of course doggy love means Soquita has lost much of her stuffing, her voice (squeaker), and, as the opening sentence states, her face.  Since dogs don't have opposable thumbs and therefore must rely on their mouths to carry around things, a little (not to Soquita) damage is inevitable.  Fortunately, perched among the Penguini and with the Dia de los Muertos gent atop the bookcase in the master bedroom reside Soquita's siblings who can replace her if and when that time comes.

As for Soquita, she has reworked the song from an old commercial originally done by Walt Disney:

"I'm Soquita Monkita and I'm here to say

It's hard being the pet of a Pirate Dog all day..."

It's such fun having Pirate Dogs!!!!