Of Mice and Sisters

So last Monday a field mouse invaded Dee and Melina's abode in Sacramento.  Dee went to soccer after screeching, panicking, calling the exterminator, and tasking the whippets and cats to deal with the furry grey invader...........yeah, right.  Cousin Mysty-fied was her usual self:

Thanks for all the help, Mysty!!!!  I don't recall ever seeing that dog in other than a prone position....The Lummox wasn't even around!!!!!!!!  Probably hiding in the bed.......Sight hounds indeed.  All they did was look at the scampering rodent---at least that's a good use of their singular talent........

So Sister Melina caught the beastie, outperforming two Whippets, a Sassy cat, traps, and exterminators.  She even got bit in the performance of her heroic duty!!!!!!!  (I won't comment on the "hello kitty" band-aid, I mean, really)........So Sister Melina, you are hereby awarded the Order of Anton Chico and inducted into the crew of the fearless Pirate Dogs.  Print out this ferocious picture and hang it on your 'fridge:  

And remember, the next time there is an emergency, call on a Chihuahua for results and let the Whippets take their nap.  Remember, a little "Weetz-itude" goes a long way!!!!!!!!

Making of a Birthday Card 2009

Our daughter's birthday is in September. This year, the Pirate Dogs decided to send their sister a card. O M G!!!!! The task would try the patience of the saints.

First, you assemble the crew:

Come here, 'Roid!!!

Then get them in position:

Please stay, guys!?!?!

Can't do a card without a message, right? Try that with a chewy chihuahua...

Bertequila, please.....

Now, Bertie, leave it alone.

Now, a few takes----------

Bertie's leaving and what's with Leny's expression??

Nice sitting but could you look any weirder???

Looks like Bertequila's leaving again

Gee, guys, would you sort of look like you're having fun??

Finally, they get down to business............

Happy Birthday to our sister Dee!!!!

Course they only do it for the rewards.......NOT!!!!!!

Good job, guys!!!

Chihuahuas love to get on their hind legs--makes 'em feel tall like big dogs..

And all that was done so we could be late with this:

The Pirate Dogs love you and we're sorry this was so late!!!!!!!

LOL

(Notice the absence of any felines---the Klingon Kats know to make themselves scarce when this crew is being made to perform....)

'Tude

Leny spends a fair bit of time blogging and inspiring posts. The Captain and the Midshipman also get their share. Which leaves Crow's-Nest Weetzie with a fair amount of "Weets-itude."

Weets gets under the covers in the bed and growls ferociously at any creature that contacts her. The snarling and gnashing are reminiscent of scenes from Dante's Inferno. When she takes up her position on the back of a sofa (highest point--hence her nick-name Crow's-Nest) it takes a braver soul than her dad or mom to remove her.

But Weets is the glue banding the Pirate Dogs together. She warns of danger and the need to take action---roaring into the backyard, barking and growling and nipping Leny's jowls to spur the First Mate to action against some perceived invasion, like the woman who walks by every evening with her Airedale. Or those dastardly neighbors with the well-groomed and ribbon-bedecked Pomeranian.

Yes, though she's one of the chihuahuas 2 in the crew, it's Weets-itude that drives the adventures of the Pirate Dogs.

AAAAAHHH!!!!

Today is one of the best days in Clovis. Even though we were marooned at Bucksnort's with our cousins Seymour and Esmerelda, the olfactory pleasures we experienced when our parents picked us up were so wonderful. That delectable smell when we bundled into the car--like something roasted but not burned; something spicy and maybe wonderfully hot....And when we entered the house, it was all but overpowering, in a deliciously sensual way-----They had been to the Farmer's Market and gotten our supply of green chiles!!!!!!!!! If you've never smelt the delightful aroma of fresh roasted green chiles, we can only pity you. You haven't even made it up to a dog's life.......

The Pirate Dogs---'Roid, Leny, Weetz, and Bertequila

Channel 2

It's funny how the Pirate Dogs channel people and events. A previous entry on this blog detailed how Weetzie channels my late mother-in-law. Now we are at July 7 2009. It's Ringo's 69th birthday. All day coverage of Michael Jackson's memorial. The day after the death of Robert S. McNamara, Secretary of Defense during the VietNam war under JFK and LBJ. Farrah's demise has sort of been lost in the shuffle.

But the Pirate Dogs are reacting.

Ringo always had a sort of hang-dog look about him:

But that's nothing compared to Leny in a pensive mood:

Then there's Emma. This is the Captain but you'd never find a dog with a sweeter disposition. She can just be nice, like I've heard Farrah was. And she even had big hair from the groomer:

Now Weetzie already channels my mother-in-law, and she is certainly strange---as in Robert Strange McNamara---leave it to Weets to do the double play:

But the prize for channeling goes to Bertequila----this dog doesn't have a good bone in his body--HE IS BAD, like MJ's album

of the same name:

And I apologize for none of this. It's unfortunate some of these people have gone on to their reward. R.I.P.

And as for Ringo, Happy 69th!!!!!!!!!!!

Evolution

One thing about the Pirate Dogs is that they constantly grow and evolve. This week the newest, Bertie, went to the vet. The good doctor figures he's about 3-1/2 months old and has some rat terrier mixed in with the chihuahua. Well didn't that just spark a firestorm.

Now the easy solution would be to name him "Ratso", but that's Auntie Bucksnort's grandson's nickname. What to do, what to do.................The solution is, shall we say, quoting Mr. Spock in "The Wrath of Khan", unique...........

Bertie as Dustin because he's "Ratso":




















Leny as Jon playing "Joe Buck":





















Now, this casting is due to the size of the dogs relative to the characters. Bertie would be more suited by temperament to the Joe Buck role---being a male puppy he's ready to hump anything that crosses his path!!!!

But it's the Brenda Vaccaro role of Shirley that causes the controversy. Weets really wants this part but possibly Emma has the look??? What do you think?

And for those of you who haven't figured out where this is all going, would you believe.....

Midnight CowDogs

???????????????????????????????????????????????????

Leny's Complaint

All right---I've had it.  Just when life was getting peaceful, the Nargle fitted with the ultra-warp drive, the Captain getting all of us together and planning the final subjugation of the Klingon Kats to our obviously superior canine minds------Auntie Bucksnort gets into dogs.

Now she's already got Esmerelda who drives us crazy because she just doesn't "get " dogginess, being the only dog-child raised by a cat lover with 2 cats.  Next, Buck went and rescued a male dog, sorta shepherd mix, Seymour.  She calls him Spike, but hell she calls Esmerelda, Lee.  She really needs some work on dog naming.

Anyway, since Auntie is now into doggie welfare, and knowing how my dad wanted a chihuahua, she haunted the pound and found one!!!  She actually parked there overnite on a Sunday so she'd be first in line and get this little male humpty machine.

  Damn thing ain't  got his cajones dropped and he's constantly trying to hump me!!!!  I can't get a lick on a new chip stick or chip turk without the little a-hole getting on my back!!!!  And poor Monquita Socorro.  

I was taking real good care of her but since the chihuahua entered the fray she's got no tail, only one foot, most of her stuffing gone!!!!  And poor Weets isn't so small and cute anymore because Bertie is such a dwarf.  Who the hell ever dreamed up this breed anyhow.  Damn thing thinks it can keep up with me does it??

If you look close, you'll see I've got the little sucker lifted off the ground!!!!  But I guess Weets is somewhat reconciled to the new beast.

And by the way,  while I've got the blog stage, I do NOT have any pit bull in me.  I am a SHARPRADOR and damn proud of it too---that's part Labrador Retriever and part Shar-Pei.  The big head is from the Lab, the jowls from the Sharpie side.  Gotta put all that extra skin somewhere!!!!  Besides I got that Sharpie blue-colored tongue.  So get with it---Sharpradors are kind, loyal, and loving---except when there's pain-in-the-rump Weimaraners next door who need a good barking at, then I can be meaner than hell!!!!  But mostly, I'm just Leny and now I'm done being Portnoy.  And if you don't get that reference, you need my nickname of "lame."  

LOL

New Pirate Dog; Old Argument

Let's do the old argument first----There was a piece on BBC World News America this evening in which a gentleman from Oklahoma said the government was going to spend us to death and should just give the money directly to the people.  We've heard this since Paulson and W. started the TARP last year.  So, let's do the math---Let's say the government allocated $1-trillion to just be handed out to each person in the US.  That should really help us all out, right????  Well, $1-trillion divided by the population of the US, which according to the US Census Bureau population clock at about 6:00PM MDT on 5/14 stood at 306,429,317, is $3263.40 per person.  That'll go a long way to ending the downturn, won't it???  And I'm sure it would more than replace the income of those who lose their jobs as companies and local governments go bankrupt or default on payments.   

Now for the news-----We have adopted a new Pirate Dog.  Bertie, aka Roberto Fernando el toro perro, is a rescue from the local oxymoronic kill shelter.  I had wanted a chihuahua since moving here and this is as close as we have gotten, without paying a breeder.  El toro may have a little rat terrier mixed with the chihuahua but he's sooooo tiny he makes Weets look big.

In this picture he's lying in the hall next to a chip stick that's about as long as he is!!

He makes the percentage of male household members 30%.  The Captain has been slow to accept him, and Weets still hasn't. 

But the Captain is pretty mellow all the same as long as this newest crew member follows orders.

 The newcomer has bonded with First Mate Leny.  They even share chip turks and chip stix.  He's still a little too small to spend a lot of time in the Nargle however.

It's only been since Monday that Bertie joined us and he's already hassling Klingon Kats and learning the routines of life as a Pirate Dog!!!

Symbols & Transformation

Strange doings------the Captain has been spending a lot of time in the Nargle.  

I know the Pirate Dogs are upset with the war in the horn of Africa with the Somali pirates.  They've documented their feelings in previous posts.  But now, something else is going on, strange scuffling and sounds like construction.  The Captain looks older and wiser.  The ears on the look-out are now a more dominant feature than the eyes, and Weets has become more logical.  The first-mate has developed an aptitude for mechanics and physics and I can detect the beginnings of a wee brogue in her bark---------

The sails on the ship are getting smaller----and those protuberances on the aft structures---for all the universe they look like matter/anti-matter engine nacelle housings.............And the new markings  NCC1701-B------------this video that they are enthralled by......

.

SPACE PIRATE DOGS and the United Canine Starship Nargle-----to quote Steve Miller, "bet you weren't ready for that."  

Pour Quoi????

An old friend asked me in our last phone conversation "So what's with this Pirate Dog thing? Where's that come from?"

Well, it's what they are, collectively.  Each has a unique story and their biographies have appeared earlier on this blog.  These dogs are each a misfit in their own way.  But as a refresher.....

The Captain was purchased from a Cock-a-poo "breeder (wink-wink)" in NH.  Mostly this person was some unskilled lady who thought breeding dogs a lucrative and easy profession.  So 'Roid came to us with some severe genetic issues.  As she has matured, she's evolved from being a Cock-a-poo with bad knees to a splay-footed chow hound who haunts the kitchen looking for handouts and sits leaning against the base cabinets with one of her rear legs jutting out at a 90-degree angle from her haunches.  She needs at least a 10-foot running start to jump onto the bed, which is a successful operation about 47.6% of the time.

Now the First Mate came to us from a shelter in NH.  Her official biography lists her as a rescue from a kill shelter in Ohio where she was imprisoned as an unclaimed stray.  And she still exhibits symptoms of the low self-esteem that can be produced by such mental trauma as being stranded and unclaimed by one's own family.  Leny meets her dad at the door each evening with a ball or chip-turk firmly between her teeth.  And such a ruckus---singing, whingeing, barking---all kinds of attention getting behaviors as would be expected from a traumatized and neglected child who has found a safe haven but insists on pushing the limits of her new found acceptance.

The Lookout is a NM native.  She was rescued from the local kill shelter.  She was surrendered from a town slightly west of here.  There was no official reason given for the placement of the dog there but we suspect it was "small dog syndrome"---she has a tendency to express herself with growling and threatening body language.  All of us have had occasion to be terrified of Weets when she gets in these moods.  It might also have had to do with her predilection for relieving herself on the dry floors inside when it's raining or wet outside.  Of course, a Schnauzer-Chihuahua mix that channels her maternal grandmother might also give one pause.....

So these three individuals, each with their own style and baggage have found a home together on the High Plains and a place of safety in the crate they've named the CPS Nargle.  A worthy crew joined by their circumstances and belief that being a Pirate Dog has benefits far beyond we poor humans' comprehension

After all, no self-respecting canine would ever name a pet extermination center a kill SHELTER.  To quote Captain 'Roid, "Talk about your basic oxymoron....."

O M G

Mom,

How could you?????????

We poor Pirate Dogs, treated like the lines from the Jim Morrison song When the Music's Over---we feel like the Earth,"our fair sister/ravaged and plundered and ripped her and bit her/..and dragged her down."

Our dear mommy did this to us!!!!!  Sure, we may have needed haircuts but THIS??????  Does this look like Pirate Dogs?????????????

Imagine dressing like this in the Crow's Nest!!!!!

And I sure don't feel like a Pirate Captain!!!!!

But we still love you anyway, Mom. 

 Just don't let that nasty cousin Esmerelda see us like this!!!!!  We know Auntie Bucksnort put you up to the bows!!!

Pets of Pets

Soquita Monkita has no face:

To make a short story long........

Soquita is Leny's pet.  Readers might hearken back to last Thanksgiving's trip to CA.  We visited our daughter's family---the two whippets, Mystified and the Lummox.   This is the Mystyfied dog:

The Lummox had a sock monkey.  Leny, being the dominatrix she naturally is, appropriated said toy.  It was an obsession.  Leny took the thing everywhere, even to bed when it was time to retire.  The Lummox could only hope we left soon and he got his monkey back.

Being doting parents, we thought it would be a good idea to get each of the Pirate Dogs their own sock monkey.  We found a website and procured three of the little cuties:

Of course, being independent Pirate Dogs, Captain 'Roid and Crow's-Nest Weetzie wanted absolutely nothing to do with these stuffed atrocities!!  The First-Mate remembered the joy of the monkey from CA and took to hers immediately, christening it Soquita Monkita.  Leny loves Soquita:

Of course doggy love means Soquita has lost much of her stuffing, her voice (squeaker), and, as the opening sentence states, her face.  Since dogs don't have opposable thumbs and therefore must rely on their mouths to carry around things, a little (not to Soquita) damage is inevitable.  Fortunately, perched among the Penguini and with the Dia de los Muertos gent atop the bookcase in the master bedroom reside Soquita's siblings who can replace her if and when that time comes.

As for Soquita, she has reworked the song from an old commercial originally done by Walt Disney:

"I'm Soquita Monkita and I'm here to say

It's hard being the pet of a Pirate Dog all day..."

It's such fun having Pirate Dogs!!!!