Pirate Dogs Bios #2: The Crow's Nest

The newest of the Pirate Dogs is the subject of this biography. We think Weetzie-Bat is a chihuazer, a cross betwen a schnauzer and a chihuahua. She is a rescue from the local kill center. Yes, we live in an area where dogs surrendered or captured and brought to the pound have a death sentence imposed on them. Weets had one day left. So my wife took pity and brought her home. I think her pound name was Rosie or something equally saccharine and unbecoming. We know she came from another town and first christened her "Melrose Mousie" but a friend commenting on the picture in her adoption notice made note of the ears that could likely be used for flying. That, and the dog's nasty disposition (small dog syndrome), brought to mind a young adult book with the title and heroine Weetzie-Bat. Thus was she named.

Weets, being the least in stature of the Pirate Dogs, became the look out for the crew. She perches on the back of furniture as if it were a crow's-nest high above the decks of the CPS Nargle.

Her primary raison d'etre seems to be barking and snarling at real or imaginary passers-by. God forbid someone on the tv rings a doorbell. That sets off the loudest cacophony of all! Of course, being the most diminutive canine buccaneer, Weets barks and nips at Leny to get her to threaten the perceived intruders. A true denizen of a crow's-nest!

Lately Weets has begun to channel my late mother-in-law. There was this hair-cut, sort of spiky and silver. And she sort of glowers at me when I playfully pull her tail (tail wedgies). She has been known to lie under the covers on the bed and growl at any contact with her person. So Weetzie-Bat and Weets-Elva are morphing together and who knows how this will affect the chain of command on the Nargle. Time will tell.

Pirate Dogs Bios #1--The Captain

Every crew needs a captain and the CPS (Canine Pirate Ship--what did you expect??) Nargle is no exception. As previously reported, the Captain of the Nargle is Emma Hermione Granger Watson 'Roid. (Obviously this blogger is somewhat influenced by the writings of J K Rowling and the movies based on her works.)

The 'Roid is the one Pirate Dog that is not a rescue from a shelter. She was purchased from a "home breeder" to be a pet and a transition upon the inevitable demise of Hannah, the famous/infamous Tan Dog we had for over a dozen years. Hannah gave Emma the name 'Roid because Hannah considered the new usurping puppy a royal pain in the derriere.

Emma purports to be a well behaved dog, as befits her cockapoo lineage. Only after Leny arrived did the true nature of the Pirate captain manifest itself. 'Roid is a sneak. She uses her compliant behavior to mask the evil doings of her mind, the sinister machinations of her brain. Knowing the larger, newer animal would be blamed for any household destruction, Emma-roid began her reign of terror. She chewed furniture, sheets, even the kitchen wallboard. It took her less than five minutes to destroy two fairly expensive retractable leashes by chewing the nylon lead just above the connecting link to the collar so the lead material simply retracted and could not be recovered or repaired. But this got her what she desired---The CPS Nargle!!!!

It was the acquisition of the crate that became a canine pirate ship that fostered the camraderie and bonding that turned three dogs into feared buccaneers. This gave them their ship and the opportunities for Captain 'Roid to formulate her stratagems and convey them to her crew. The latest escapade has already been chronicled on this blog--the foiled plan to eliminate Skippy-Kee http://piratedogspilgrims.blogspot.com/2008/05/missing.html. And of course it was the Pirate Dogs who inspired the 580 miles for a cheeseburger adventure http://piratedogspilgrims.blogspot.com/2008/05/driving-580-miles-for-burger.html.

And the mastermind of these exploits is the captian, Emma-roid!!!

Countdown

Well, it's about 100 days until we elect the successor to Dubya. But that's not really the countdown this post is about.
I have to admit that during the primary season I got caught up in Keith Olberman's program on MSNBC, Countdown. I thought it a refreshingly liberally biased take on the primaries and political reporting. I watch BBC America World News to get my facts so Keith was an intellectually affordable luxury. After the presumptive nominees were chosen the show lost some of its appeal. Some of the segments have become downright aggravating. The last segment with some VH-1 comic commenting on a political issue is getting repetitive and boring. This segment is neither news nor entertainment but rather a sop to the "low information voter" who, quite honestly, is not what I perceive to be the target audiece of Keith's show.
The final straw for me was the week after July 4 when Rachel Maddow subbed for Keith. The show reverted back to what had intrigued me during the primaries. A liberal take on issues and some reasonably intelligent commentary. And something was missing----The Worst Persons in the World segment. Rachel did not do this regular segment. And it vastly improved the show!!
I first saw Keith do this schtick on NBC's Sunday Football Night in America and found it amusing. But on Countdown, it has become tedious. Not that someone should not point out the follies and foibles of humanity, especially the dastardly actions of some citizens. But Bill O'Reilly and Rupert Murdoch really don't compare to Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe or Omar Al-Bashir of Sudan. And is FoxNews (FoxNoise to Keith) really as bad as the Jangaweed in Darfur?
So I guess I'll keep up with BBC and increase the number of DVDs I get from Netflix to fill the hour left in my tv watching formerly occupied by Keith. That is, unless MSNBC brings in Rachel or gets Keith to change his format. Although Olberman may appropriate Edward R. Murrow's sign-off, there's no comparison between the quality of their "newscasts." "Good Night and Good Luck!"

Raise the Fuel Taxes

Gas prices continue to go up---over $4.08 a gallon as I write this. And the monthly payments on pickups and SUVs keep decreasing---no interest for 60 months, $6,000 rebates, "employee pricing".......Anybody else out there think this is a disconnect? And note the small print on these adds---none of the "deals" apply to hybrids!!!! The fuel efficient varieties are full boat, baby!!!!
Our government says we can alleviate gas prices by drilling in places like the Arctic Wildlife Refuge. But the current administration doesn't exactly deserve kudos or respect in terms of their record on the environment or climate change. Let's face it, the "senior administrators" are ex-oil men. The candidates recommend gas tax holidays or windfall taxes on big oil.
How about something that might work? Let's eliminate the taxes on diesel. This will give truckers a break and help stabilize the costs of food and other goods that depend on trucking to get to America's consumers. We can increase the gas tax on regular fuel to offset this revenue loss and also to subsidize the cost of truly fuel efficient and alternative fuel technologies.
Check out the Honda website http://automobiles.honda.com/fcx-clarity/frequently-asked-questions/. That fuel cell car in the tv ads is available in a few counties in Southern California at a lease cost of $600.00 a month. That's more than the lease on a Hummer, a Mercedes S class, or a Cadillac STS!!!! We should be begging to lease the fuel cell car all over the country and getting the infrastructure built to support fuel cell technology. But the vast majority of Americans can't afford that kind of lease price. One would think GM, Ford, or Chrysler could build a fuel cell car that might fit an average family's budget if some of the development costs were subsidized.
According to Jonathan Rauch's article in the July/August Atlantic(http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200807/general-motors), the Chevy Volt will sell for "maybe north of $35,000." But an F-150 Ford or a Chevy Silverado at 10mpg can be had for about $20,000!! If we really are serious about conserving fossil fuels and getting their prices back in line, we need the Volt to sell for the same price as a Malibu.
So let's bite the short-term bullet and pay an inceased gas tax which can be used by car companies to develop alternative fuel vehicles without passing the high development costs on to consumers and keeping the sticker prices of these vehicles in line with what the average family can afford. The other benefit of this would be to help make American companies competitive and hopefully increase job opportunities in the automotive sector, which has been among the hardest hit in the economy. Or maybe America isn't as good as our competitors in this segment of the global economy?

Return of the Lost

So after 12 days adrift, Skippy is home. As best as I can reconstruct the story from her yowlings, after the Pirate Dogs had made her walk the plank she was able to find refuge in a neighboring tree across the alley. Since the pirates maintained control of the yard, she decided to bide her time and attempt to return later, under cover of darkness.

But her plans were foiled by the emergence of AndromeClee, the shadowy nemesis who has haunted Skip's life since her arrival. With Skip gone, AndromeClee began to enjoy her freedom. She made a grand entrance onto the stage of outdoor life, sunning herself, stalking the grackles who sang their siren songs from the trees and rooftops whenever a feathered one ventured onto terra firma. So rather than endure a confrontation with her enemy, this high energy newly freed spirit, Skip waited in the alley and bided her time.

Came the night and the new dangers it presented. People in the alley, emptying lawn mower bags and dumping garbage. Her own yard unwelcoming, SkippyKee looked for alternative shelter. She knew that there were neighbors who had felines and sometimes left food out for them. She had sampled these victuals on her other forays about the neighborhood. So she scaled a fence across the alley in search of sustenance. Instead she found a furious terrier objecting to her presence. Barely escaping by scrambling up a woodpile near a metal fence, she found herself in a yard with dishes of cat food and water free and welcoming. She helped herself to the feast. Bushes throughout the yard provided shelter from the overwhelming sun of the high plains. She dozed and lost track of the fleeting minutes and hours.

Waking in the darkness, she decided to return home. But the metal fence had no surfaces where she could gain purchase with her nails. There were no trees near the edifice to assist her. She was trapped in someone else's fortress! Days passed without any opportunity to escape. A human had at one point startled her but Skip was unable to get through the gate before it slammed shut. Then, a fateful evening---hiding in the bushes, Skip tried to settle down. But her comfort was shattered by the pelting of water on the foliage. Terrified, she bolted for an open door. Unfortunately, it was a garage. The human closed the door, trapping her amid the spoils of years of human acquisition. Fortunately, the human had seen the posters for the lost cat and called the number. After some negotiation to make the newcomers prove their identity, SkippyKee entered the carrier, comforted and made confident by its familiar odors. And she was carried home.

Her first interaction with those who had made her walk the plank and embark on such misadventures was chasing and pummeling. Three Pirate Dogs pursuing a small cat down the corridor, threatening her should she tell the story. This was followed by some whimpering and whining as the claws on those double paws made contact with various body parts of those canines more efficiently and with far greater destructive power than Errol Flynn at his most swashbuckley best. As for AndromeClee, her moment in the sun is gone---she is back under the bed, hoping the Pirate Dogs succeed with her next plan..................

MISSING

Skippy Kee is missing. She never came home Thursday. Being good parents, we posted her picture and info on community sites, hung pictures and contact info on all the nearby dumpsters, and notified the local animal control people and veterinarians.

Then it hit me. I was grilling a couple of burgers on the deck when I espied the Pirate Dogs lurking by the back gate. A closer inspection revealed a long and narrow board concealed near where it could be perched on the stockade fence and the storage shed--a PLANK!!!!! Shades of the "Black Pearl".

I immediately confronted the Captain of this crew. And in true pirate fashion she obfuscated and prevaricated, giving me no information whatesover--just growling, barking, and finally, silence with an innocent and coy expression on her face. But deep down, though it may never be proved, I know the truth. Witness the similarity of expression between the Captain of the Pirate Dogs on the left and Capt. Jack Sparrow on the right.



Can there be any doubt?????

Driving 580 Miles for a Burger

All right, so even in "Nuevo Mehico" gasoline is approaching $4.00 a gallon. Who cares?? Not the 3 Pirate Dogs!!!!!!! They convinced their dad, mom, and auntie to load them into the vehicle and trek about halfway across the 5th largest state for a HAMBURGER. Not just any hamburger but a green chile cheeseburger from the Owl Cafe, home of arguably the best burgers in the WORLD!!!

We used to live about 100 miles from the Owl so a quick run up the Interstate was nothing. To taste the green chile cheese fries, enjoy a cold Bud, and eat a couple of those burgers was so satisfying. And to be able to just do it on a moment's notice was wonderful. Now we live half a state away----yesterday was a 580 mile round trip---si, a little planning is required. But it's the trip as well as the culinary orgasm.

Leave the flat plain of "West Texas" to encounter the foothills of one of the few mountain ranges that run east-west (the Capitans). Be alert and ready with the brakes. Off to the right a herd of pronghorn antelope graze. A few miles further and there are some of the largest longhorn cattle not yet in the feedlot. As the sign for the Roswell UFO Crash site (no trespassing, call some limo company) approaches, a paisano runs across the road with "is that a snake or a lizard?" in its beak. A few miles later another roadrunner crosses, this one still searching for its meal.

Cross the mountains. The pass is only 6900 feet on this route. But the land has changed. Scruffy trees, maybe oaks, shelter a few head of cattle. The highway allows a view of hawks from above as it proceeds in switchbacks up the mountain. Then there is the first sighting of the Tularosa Basin stretching for miles north-south and to the west we spy the the next mountains to cross.

The land has morphed into black lava flows as the car ascends into the Malpais. One more hill----and the high desert reveals itself--the "Jornada del Muerto." A fitting name for the land that was scarred by the Trinity blast in 1945. There's the turn for Stallion Gate.

It's been a long ride but that sign means the Rio Grande, El Camino Real, and the Owl are only about half an hour away. Another hill and the river valley, almost obscenely green against the adobe colored sand and mountains beyond, appears. Cross the Rio, muddy, fairly high (the dams upstream must be open). There's the sign with the nocturnal bird, our destination.

Of course the pirates can't go in, not a seeing eye dog among them, but there's a shady parking place. The humans gorge themselves on the wonderful fare. The pirates get a hamburger of their own for their patience. A quick turn on the leash for relief and renewal and it's time for the trek east.