Sunday, August 10, 2008

Pirate Dogs Bios #1--The Captain

Every crew needs a captain and the CPS (Canine Pirate Ship--what did you expect??) Nargle is no exception. As previously reported, the Captain of the Nargle is Emma Hermione Granger Watson 'Roid. (Obviously this blogger is somewhat influenced by the writings of J K Rowling and the movies based on her works.)

The 'Roid is the one Pirate Dog that is not a rescue from a shelter. She was purchased from a "home breeder" to be a pet and a transition upon the inevitable demise of Hannah, the famous/infamous Tan Dog we had for over a dozen years. Hannah gave Emma the name 'Roid because Hannah considered the new usurping puppy a royal pain in the derriere.

Emma purports to be a well behaved dog, as befits her cockapoo lineage. Only after Leny arrived did the true nature of the Pirate captain manifest itself. 'Roid is a sneak. She uses her compliant behavior to mask the evil doings of her mind, the sinister machinations of her brain. Knowing the larger, newer animal would be blamed for any household destruction, Emma-roid began her reign of terror. She chewed furniture, sheets, even the kitchen wallboard. It took her less than five minutes to destroy two fairly expensive retractable leashes by chewing the nylon lead just above the connecting link to the collar so the lead material simply retracted and could not be recovered or repaired. But this got her what she desired---The CPS Nargle!!!!

It was the acquisition of the crate that became a canine pirate ship that fostered the camraderie and bonding that turned three dogs into feared buccaneers. This gave them their ship and the opportunities for Captain 'Roid to formulate her stratagems and convey them to her crew. The latest escapade has already been chronicled on this blog--the foiled plan to eliminate Skippy-Kee And of course it was the Pirate Dogs who inspired the 580 miles for a cheeseburger adventure

And the mastermind of these exploits is the captian, Emma-roid!!!


Jean said...

Sweet, docile, passive, "beta" Emma... not.

This little stealth-power-broker could solve the energy crisis, cement world peace and end world hunger with her fur-lined nuanced intellect. Yet... she has chosen to limit her superpowers to that notorious desert-faring canine-plundership: The S.S. Clovis.

Thank gawd for the rest of us that Captain 'Roid has chosen not to enter into the political arena of that sadly misguided subspecies - those perpetually disoriented homosapiens. It would be a strategic bloodbath. Can you imagine...

"CAPTAIN ROID IN 2008!!!!"

Running on the radically subversive break-away faction ticket: The New Repawblican Party. Change we can ALL believe in...

Captain Roid on Hard Ball... picture it... You can bet your bottom kibbles that it would be Chris Matthews fighting to get a yip in edgewise if he was ever foolish enough to invite Captain Roid and her Canine Cabinet to be interviewed on his silly little show.

Arrrggghhhh! All power to the pirates!

Shivering in me' timbers... your humble deck-swabber, Auntie Bucksnort.

clairz said...

Quick! Who cuts her hair? I wanna have that 'do!!

Seriously, it reminds me of the awful home haircuts suffered by the Zee Kids. No wonder they all live so far away.